Glitz and Glamour

I put my feet to the pavement,
walking these streets I push it daily
but I ain’t get paid yet, so there’s no food for the baby.

And lately, I’ve been worried for my safety
Living in the lions den, they all want to replace me.

My home’s a mess, its falling to pieces
A concrete cage that’s covered in cracks; my roof is leaking.

Weekends are the bleakest,
that’s when I weaken from all the hunger so I start selling to weak friends.

In secret, I’m scared of lucid nightmares-
Cops and canines coming to get me (they never fight fair.)

But I’m here, leading a life that many might fear-
Making a living for all I hold dear.

Promise me you’ll never make the same mistake I did
Promise me you’ll never mention this to my kid
Promise me that when I cease to live,
All of the things I’ve left behind,
Won’t rise up and plague your mind too.

Look at me, I'm just like Raymond Carver...blah blah blah

One afternoon Wes was in the yard pulling weeds when Chef drove up in front of the house. I was working on a needlepoint on the front steps. I saw Chef walking towards Wes, but he acted like he couldn’t see me. Wes saw Chef walking across the yard and stuck his hand out to shake like they always did, but Chef swallowed him up in an embrace instead.
Wes dropped the gloves he’d taken off when he saw Chef approaching and hugged him back. I didn’t want to interrupt them so I just let them be. It looked like Chef was about ready to cry so I put down my needlepoint and went inside. Two friends like that should be left alone.
Inside the kitchen I had a half pitcher of lemonade I’d made for Wes, the condensation weeping all over the sides of the glass container. Chef and Wes walked in shoulder to shoulder just as I was finishing pouring everyone a glass. Hope you guys like lemonade. None went for a glass so I put the tray of drinks down. Everything alright Chef? But Wes answered instead. Chef had a drink last night for the first time in years. Chef couldn’t even look at the tumblers I filled up with lemonade for them. Well that’s not a big deal. We’ve all come a long way. Chef we can help you. He shook his head as if I was missing the point. I put down the drinks before something happened to them.
It’s on account of my mother passing away last night. Wes nodded because he understood. I knew it was gonna happen. I wish it hadn’t. I’ve held off for so many years it wasn’t even something I thought about anymore. I don’t think this will kill me but it sure is trying its damndest to. I came here because this house was the where I first seen light at the end of the tunnel. It’s worked for you but I can’t see that it’s working for me right now. I should leave you alone, this is my problem not yours.
Wes had been nodding the whole time as if he knew. I could tell that he was ready to tell Chef what was already in my mind. You’re gonna be alright now Chef. Edna and I appreciate your helping us so we figure the least we can do is help you. This place has been fantastic to us, but we don’t think it’s the place for you. As he spoke I could see the cabin in my mind. When we first got married a cousin of Edna’s gave us a place he had up in the mountains. It’s nothing more than a few logs put together the right way. You’re a good friend Chef. I can tell you right now that if you’re looking for a place to keep yourself together, our cabin is a great place to understand what’s going on right now.
Chef nodded and put his hand on Wes shoulder. Thanks Wes, however I’ve already got a place to stay. Coming here was just another thing in a long line of silly things I’ve done since she’s been gone. Thank you for offering me your place and all but I don’t think it’s for me. Wes nodded like he understood but he reached out for me anyways. He wrapped his arm around my waist to emphasize his point once more. Have faith Chef. I’m going to be around for as long as I’m going to be around. I tell you that I know you’re going to make it because you know that what you’ve done is silly today. My offer still stands. This isn’t the best place to mourn someone the right way. Edna and I know where that place is though. If you need it, we’ll be here.
Chef said he understood. Thank you so much but you’re wrong if you think this wasn’t the right place for me. With that he wiped his face and embraced us both. I hope you feel better I said. Thank you guys Chef repeated.
Wes and I walked Chef out of the house and to his car. I’d forgotten the yard still had a big pile of weeds in it just waiting to be burned. Wes dusted the Chef off seeing as how the two had been pretty inseparable since he’d gotten out of his car. I waited for Wes on the front porch. Goodbye Chef! Wes leaned into the driver’s seat window and whispered something into Chef’s ear. Chef nodded solemnly. He patted Wes on his shoulder before pulling out. When Wes came back I didn’t ask what he’d told Chef. That was between the two of them.

A Case of Emergency

Here it comes, the splash of cold water on my face
It’s like I’m startling myself into the new day.
And who say that the sun is on its way,
when I’ve been waiting all my life,
and I can tell it’s bound to be late.
I’ve waited patiently for you to make the final move
To tell me that you’re up and that you’ll wait for me to call;
but the heavens say, you’re waiting for the fall
I know you wanna stall
Dream of things I might have said, but never meant at all.
I AM HARDLY THE MAN
That has your remedy
So when I see you sneak away today
I’ll turn and ask no one in particular if they’d like something to eat.

Night Shift

It was the third rainy night in a row, and Cruz had just about given up on keeping the office floor dry and puddle free. I wasn’t about to complain, I’d been soaked for hours and I could care less what the floor looked like. From where I was sitting, I could hear her in the backroom folding more sheets for the rooms while watching Primer Impacto, a show composed of half news and half tabloid. It had been at least 5 minutes since the last walker had come in with a customer, so I figured I had at least ten more before they would need me to open the gate again to let them out.
The news soon cut to a commercial break, so Cruz walked out with a sheet in hand and started folding it on the counter where the log book was. “That last girl looked like Carly; did she pay you up front?” I shook my head. “It’s her first lay of the night; she’ll get it to me on her way out.” When she heard that, Cruz stopped folding and just stared at me; I knew she wasn’t gonna like the answer, which is why I hadn’t said anything on my way back in. Cruz pointed at me “We don’t do that “first lay, then pay” thing anymore Carlos, these girls are gonna have to pay up front every time now, you heard Hassan.”
Last time Hassan had been here, I had to tell him about a girl that had gotten pinched while walking the streets and left her tab unpaid while she was still locked up. “No more handouts.” He’d said. “Get their money up front, or else they’ll have to do their business in an alley somewhere until they can get enough for a room.” He’d had a point, but Carly was a regular, so I cut her some slack until word got around that we had changed our rules.
“Yeah, I heard. Soon as she comes back out, I’ll tell her we’ve changed the rules, and then she’ll tell the rest of the girls when she sees them outside…that’ll equal less work for me; sound like a plan?” Cruz shrugged and went back to folding her sheet. “I just don’t want any money problems again. Let her, and all the girls after her, know that we gotta do it Hassan’s way from now on, got it?” I nodded; Cruz was just talking to get it out of her system, she was the half of me that worried about things. “So did Hassan mention anything about a raise to you, or did he just collect and run again?”
I didn’t have an answer for Cruz. I’d actually been avoiding the subject for the last couple of days because I had promised to get an answer from him, but made the mistake of mentioning the arrest and tab to him first. “I can’t give you a raise this month Carlos, that prostitute’s tab has yet to be covered and I’m still paying off that main gate we got after the smash and grab…” The smash and grab referring to a group of teenagers who’d broken into some rooms a week prior to Hassan’s visit and had resulted in him buying a automatic gate for the motel, a gate I now monitored each night to let the street walkers in and out with their customers.
“Hassan said we’d have to wait a bit because of the tab that girl left open, plus he hasn’t finished paying off that fence yet…” I could tell she was angry, but I wasn’t expecting her to take it as calmly as she did. “Ugh, I knew he’d find some reason not to pay us more this month, Hassan is such a cheapskate!”
Cruz went back to where the television was announcing the marriage of two Mexican soap opera stars and got another sheet from the pile to fold. She continued talking “At least he finally bought that fence like you told him to ages ago…all it cost him was a few broken windows and a couple of television sets!” She was right; the night that little incident had happened I’d been at my mom’s place grabbing dinner for the two of us and had come back to find Cruz still hiding under the front counter, white as a sheet. She’d been cradling the cash box and the two by four we used in the office to prop open the window, when I walked in and heard her crying on the floor. In all the years I’d known her, and all the time since that incident, I’d never seen her as helpless as she looked right then. I went out and bought a gun for the place the next day, and even though we had this fence up now, I still haven’t left her alone here since.
A tap on the window behind me told me that someone was trying to get out; sure enough I turned around and saw Carly adjusting her bra strap standing by the side door to the gate. “I’m gonna go let Carly out.” I yelled to Cruz as I walked towards the door. “Don’t forget to tell her about the money up front!” I heard from the back as the door hissed to a close.
Carly and her customer were standing by the gate waiting to be let out. By now the rain had subsided, and the guy standing next to Carly now had a bad case of the awkwards. Had he been driving I would have simply pressed the lever to let the gate open, but he was a local and probably rode the bus to work. I unlocked the smaller side door on the gate and let him out while Carly stayed behind to pay for her room. She handed me a wad of cash “Here you go; I also put in an extra $20 for whatever Lucy owed you. I don’t know when she’s getting out of lockup, but I figure can at least make it so she isn’t in the negative with you guys when she gets out.” I took the money and gave her a smile “I didn’t think I’d be seeing any of this money ever, thanks.” Carly, who wasn’t used to smiles in her business, simply waved it off. “No problem, I’ll be back in a few; it’s bar night tonight and I feel like there’s gonna be a lot of guys out there looking to settle…”
She started to walk off when I told her what Hassan had said about having to pay up front from now on. She stopped for a second, looked back, and waved that off too “Don’t worry about it; we’ve all got our pimps. I’ll tell the rest of the ladies about the change, but don’t be surprised if a couple show up without cash on them.” I let Carly through the gate and thanked her “Thanks; I’ll see you when you get back.” I watched her walk down the street and turn the corner; I wish things were that easy all the time.